Making the decision to have a homebirth is one of the most empowering decisions you can make when deciding on how you want to bring your baby into the world.

Birthing in the privacy of your home, with your love ones. Exploring the freedom to move and flow with the laboring process freely makes all the difference in your birthing experience.

When I made the decision to have a home birth, I also experienced the other side of this decision as well.

The questions that come up, the uncertainties, the concerns around how things will play out. The desire to birth at home but also the doubt that tries to creep in.

My last two births were in hospitals and were inductions. This was going to be a whole new experience for me! As I began to prepare myself for my home birth, I realized that a lot of the preparation was going to be mental.

There were 6 things that I shifted my mindset around that really helped me walk into my home birth experience feeling confident and informed.

These 6 things were:

Taking a deeper look at the way I viewed birth
Normalizing what natural physiological birth looks like and can be like
Having the right support/community around me that supported my decision
Addressing any fears, I had around birth
Becoming informed on birth and educating myself
Nurturing my connection with my mind

In this post I will share with you how these 6 things can help shift your mindset around birth as well!

Let’s get to shifting!

1.Taking a deeper look at the way you view birth

Most births scenes you see on tv, most the birth stories you hear, and honestly most of our personal experiences with birth rather that’s firsthand or watching usually occurs in a hospital.

These births are often times followed by heavy monitoring, the need to intervene with the natural process of labor, lack of body autonomy and the uncertainties that that all can bring.

This has become the normal way to birth. The most common way to birth and our most referenced way to birth.

As you ground yourself in your decision to birth at home, it’s important to unlearn and relearn that birth is a natural process that your body was made to do without any intervening.

Begin to take a deeper look at birth from a physiological and wholistic stand point.

Reflect on how you view birth, your thoughts around birth and your relationship with birth, observing what comes up for you.

Listen and ask yourself questions to become clear on your own personal relationship with birth.

Ask yourself questions Like:

What are my thoughts and feeling around birth?
How were my prior birth experiences and how do I feel about my experiences giving birth?
What fears and concerns do I have around birth?
Have I ever seen a natural birth?
Do I trust the process or feel confident in giving birth naturally, and at home? Why or why not?
What do I know about the natural birth process?
Do I have Any regrets or traumas from previous birth experiences?
How do I want this birth to be different?
What is important for me with this birth?

This is the foundation to your learning and the guide to the inner work to help you confidently walk into your home birth.

Letting go of the old stories you have been told and creating space for a new story.

And understanding that birth can be a safe, beautiful experience that you can walk away from feeling transformed, and empowered, especially when we prepare ourselves mentally.

2.Normalizing what a natural, physiological birth looks like and can be like

Early on as you plan for your home birth, you can start mentally preparing yourself for your birth. Filling your mind with positive birth stories, listening to other women home birth stories, watching home births, reading about home births etc.

This helps with normalizing what physiological birth looks like overall.

Seeing other women birth this way, in the comfort of the home helps you see that this is obtainable.

This can be so inspiring!

Embody yourself with this energy, familiarizing yourself with what birth looks like can really change your perspective!

As I became more grounded in my decision to have a home birth with my daughter, I wanted to learn more so I began watching birth videos! This was so eye-opening, informative, and honestly emotional for me.

I remember, putting my 2 boys down to sleep for the night, crawling in my bed, and watch home birth videos! Id find myself crying because I had never seen anything like it or experienced nothing like it!

To watch women birth this way and to know that this was what I was planning for made me feel so more confident.

It made me excited for my own experience giving birth!

Watching birth and movies on birth

Finding birth videos online, birth movies, even social media has so much birth videos and educational clips. Watching birth and becoming familiar with what the birthing process looks like at home can help you with

Preparing yourself mentally as you ground yourself in your decision to have a homebirth
Becoming familiar with what a homebirth/natural birth looks like
Allows you to learn so much just by watching other births
Helps you become more clearer on what is it that you want and in the vision for your birth
Gives you a visual of the transition/difference between hospital birth to home birth
Be inspiring to see other women deciding to have a homebirth like you
Can help you change your perspective on birth, unlearning the fear and trauma that surrounds birth and instead of learning to create a positive perspective towards birth
Help you see the different stages of birth and what that may look like
Overall, can be a beginning to shifting your mind around birth

Listening to other women birth stories

We can learn so much from listening to other women stories, not just for birth but really in life in general! There is so much power and lessons to take away from one another stories !

Listening to home birth stories or a birth podcast, or even talking to women around you who have experienced home births , can be such a great opportunity to learn from women who have done it before you!

Deciding to birth at home isn’t always something others around you will understand or fully want to explore. So being able to have access to other women who have done this, can be inspiring to hear as you prepare for your own home birth.

Listening to other women birth stories can

Provide education on different topics/ things related to birth
Gain understanding that every birth is different, literally.
Become inspired to take action on certain things for you own birth
Introducing new topics you haven’t heard of and may want to explore
Can relate with other like minded women
Sense of support
Advice, motivation, inspiration
Normalizing homebirth

3.Having the right birth support team/ Community that supports your decision

This is huge!

One of the reasons I became a doula, and why I advocate for home births is because the lack of support around home births.

I remember feeling confident and prepared for my birth for the first time in all 3 of my pregnancies but yet feeling a lack of support from the community around me. I experienced that the lack of support around your birthing experience, at times can make you doubt your decision.

It was a blessing to have my husband by my side who was my support system. He was my rock, supported me the whole way and showed me how much support is needed when planning a home birth.

I share that to say…

As you prepare for your birth, sometimes your family and friends can have an impact on your decisions, thoughts, fears and overall birthing experience.

When planning your homebirth, having a community that supports this decision and trust in it just as much as you do can help build you up.

Choosing to have people around you who fully support and understand your vision, your decision and give you the comfortability to open up to them through out your pregnancy. Support you during the birth process and even after is such a big deal.

Becoming intentional on who you allow to join you on this journey , avoiding people who are going to pin their personal experiences, or negative comments towards your experience.

Guard and preserve your energy to help keep your mind focused on your why you are wanting to birth this way in the first place.

Finding support around you

If you find yourself in a space where you need to look outside of family, friends and your community for support, there are all kinds of options as well like

Hiring a doula/birth support- A doula is trained birth support that provides physical, emotional and informational support to a moms before, during and shortly after childbirth.There are a variety of birth doulas and price, specialties, communities they serve.
Child birth classes- This can be a great way to create community around you and also educate yourself as you prepare for your birth.
Prenatal and mom groups- Local or online mom groups can be a great way to find support from other moms
Local Prenatal Organization- Non profit organizations, pregnancy centers, etc in your city that may be helpful and can connect you to different groups/women/ resources etc.

From my personal experience with pregnancy and motherhood, and also as a doula, I see the full benefits of knowing of these options that are available to you.

One thing to keep in mind, anytime you are looking to hire a birth professional or looking for a support group/class etc, is to always make sure that they align with you and the birthing experience you are wanting to have.

Choosing spaces, people, that you feel comfortable around bringing into your birthing journey, or even more importantly your birthing space.

4.Addressing any fear, you have

Giving birth will call all parts of you to release and surrender to the process, and releasing any fears going into the birth can help you go into your experience confident.

Addressing any fears before your birth can also help with your progress of labor.

When your mind it at ease, it allows your body to follow, and for the birth to unravel, physiologically. There is alot factors that play a role in childbirth besides the baby moving down and coming out.

When fear is present, your body will not fully be able to flow with the process of labor because your body is in fright or flight mode causing tension within your body.

As you prepare for your birth, begin to ask yourself questions around anything that brings you fear or worry. Why is this something that you have fear around? Observe what comes up and reflect on it and begin to work through it.

Many times our fears around birth come from a place of unawareness. By addressing these fears and digging deeper into them, can help release them.

This can look like:

For example, as a doula, I have heard many times of the fear of tearing when giving birth. This fear could of came from personal experiences, something someone said or seeing it happen before etc.

Working through this fear and releasing It can look like

Educating yourself around the topic- Look into and research why tearing happens during birth. See what you can do to prevent this from happening and see what are the reasons for tearing. Learn, take the information you learn and implement it to your experience.
Talk with someone- If you have a midwife and doula you are working with, express this concern with them. Discuss preventive measures. Talk with a support person, this is the perfect time where speaking with someone who supports you and understands your vision will be huge.
Journaling- Write out your why to this fear, how this makes you feel and how you want to prevent this from your birth. Sometimes writing is the best way to release and get things out.
Affirming- Creating affirmations cards or verbally saying affirmations. An affirmation could sound like “I will not tear during my birth”

5.Informing yourself

Educate yourself. Learn. Research.

Going into your birthing experience informed can provide a sense of comfort for you.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, becoming clear on your views around birth and also becoming clear on any worries you may have around birth can guide you into the topics to educate yourself on.

As you get ready for your labor process, learning and researching can help you overall feel empowered and during the labor process more at ease.

Being informed can make all the difference by

Making decisions before and during your birth from an informed space vs making decisions without being educated on topic
Helps eliminate fear
Opportunity to see all your options and choose what resonates with you best/Having the option to choose from.
Better prepare yourself in all aspects mentally, physically and spiritually for birth
Creates a birthing space and experience that aligns with what you want

It’s the information age, we literally have all the information we need at our fingertips! As you move into this experience, pay attention to what is coming up for you, staying connected and in tune with your thoughts and feelings, and utilize books, libraries, podcasts, IG, blogs, women around you who have experienced home births, etc to educate yourself.

If you have a doula or midwife, utilize them and ask any questions you have.

Connection to mind and body

And last but not least, connection to your mind!

Labor is very much felt in your physical, but when you are able to go within yourself, connect with your mind to create a state of calmness, going into a meditative state, this helps you cope through your labor and surrender to the process with more ease.

One of the best ways to cope with your labor pains as your contractions become stronger and stronger is to find a rhythm, a space, a ritual to go to each time a contraction comes in.

This could be rocking, deep breathing, chanting, and many other things. With all of the coping techniques that you use, being able to focus your mental on that technique at that time can be extremely helpful to get you through contractions!

There may even be a time in labor where you are not moving, or using any coping technique. Maybe just simply lying down as contraction come in. Being able to focus your mind during that time, to have this tool, can make all the difference in the way you get through each contraction.

The ability to focus your mind. This is a skill. Something that you can practice over time throughout your pregnancy.

Some ways that you could practice during your pregnancy to help focus your mind

Yoga- Practicing yoga overall can be beneficial for birth preparation. Part of doing yoga is connecting your breath with your movement and focusing your mind on these two things. Practicing yoga can teach the skill of focusing your mind, breathing techniques and even different body movements to help with pregnancy and birth all while building a relationship between your mind, body and soul.

Meditation- Meditation can sometimes sounds intimidating, and I get that. But keep in mind, meditation can be flexible to a time that works for you and gets easier over time. Meditation can help with spending time with yourself, focusing on your thoughts and breath which in relation to birth, when coping with contractions can come in handy!

Breathing Techniques- Building the skill of breath awareness and bringing all your focus to your breathing

Hypnobirthing classes/ books -This is a birthing method that uses self-hypnosis and relaxation techniques to help a woman feel physically, mentally and spiritually at ease during birth. There are classes and books to help learn more about this technique for birth.

And that’s it

Mentally preparing yourself for your birth is just as important as physically preparing yourself.

Birth has so much to do with our mental. Once we begin to shift our minds around birth, it allows us to begin to trust birth and embrace it.

I have created an Intuitive Home birth journal below with journal prompts, comfort measures, birth affirmations and websites/ resources to help you prepare for your home birth.

Download your copy below to help you create space for yourself as you mentally prepare for your birth!

Take care momma and you got this!

Stay tuned, in tune, and forever evolving!

Stephanie

6 ways to mentally prepare for a HOME BIRTH