Back in 2016, I became a stay-at-home mom for the first time, in a new state, new surroundings, new people and a new home. Shortly after making this shift, I had my third child and began homeschooling my children all at the same time.

Becoming a stay at home mom and partially still a stay home mom now, over time I have been learning and implementing ways to make days with my children go smoother. I love being able to have the opportunity to be at home with my children, there was a point in time where I worked all day and that was where majority of my energy went.

As I navigate through this journey, I see that it can be very easy to loose yourself as at times and allow the busy days to take over. As I learn and evolve as a momma, I have learned a lot about staying at home with my babies.

In this post I will be sharing those 10 things I learned asa stay at home mom.

This post originated from a podcast that I made and I will add it down below if you rather listen to this.

Planning your meals/ Dinners

Anytime I have my meals prepped for the day or week, it makes my time in the kitchen shorter. Thinking of your meals ahead can be a task itself, but well worth it because it opens up time in your evenings.

Meal prepping ahead of time can be done in many ways like:

• Cooking your meals, separating and packaging them up for meals through out the week

• Pre washing and chopping up all your ingredients. Maybe pre seasoning something and letting it sit. Soaking ingredients

• Making a list for the week, with all of your meals for the week on it

• One step further than the step above. Creating a grocery list with all the ingredients to those meals and shopping for all of those ingredients at once. This way you dont have to worry about stopping at the store last minute. And as the week goes by you can prepare ahead day by day.

• Bulk shopping! Buy ingredients that can stretch into multiple meals/ dishes. For example, flour and nutritional yeast is a must for me to have on hand at all times! With flour I can make cornbread, pancakes, pizza, biscuits, banana bread and all kinds of things! Nutritional yeast is very popular vegan ingredients that helps with making plant based cheese and sauces.

• Using a Crock Pot- One of my favorite ways to meal prep. Start my dinner in the morning and by night time its ready!

I have created a Grocery Meal Plan list that helps me organize my meals for the week, and all the ingredients needed. If you would like a copy of this grocery meal plan list, its FREE and ill link it right here!

 

 Creating a visible schedule for you and your kids

Over the years, as we continue to homeschool. I have grown to accept that we do better when we are all on a schedule. It was a battle for me to create a schedule for us because I felt like it was such a traditional “school thing”. I wanted my kids to feel a since of freedom that I feel schedules don’t grant. But I’ve learned that not only do I do better with a schedule but so do my kids.

This grounds me to have a plan that outline our days and also lets the kids know what to expect. In a way, it allows us to all be on the same page. There are days that I’m honestly just not feeling It, or times throughout the day where I hit burn out.

With a schedule in place it really helps me navigate through these times.

Schedules can save yourself time from having to think about things to do, because its already set in place. I think of a schedule as a tool for guidance. Some days we are right on schedule, some days we don’t need it as much. And some days we pick and choose what we want to do off of it.

Having a schedule doesn’t have to be like this stressful time management thing. It serves just more as some structure around the day when its needed, its there. 

Pour into yourself and explore things you like to do!

Keep a space, time, or hobby that allows you to find time for yourself. We as mommas are such nurturers and tend to put our needs on the back end to accommodate everyone else. In one perspective, this shows our strength for sure but at the end of the day it’s not fair to us.

Finding space for ourselves rather if that’s before bedtime or even in the morning, whenever you can to explore things you enjoy to do. Maybe it’s Rather its an activity or hobby like dancing, yoga, gardening, walking, journaling, whatever it is, that time is necessary.

Exploring things you like to do and taking time for yourself can:

• Help you feel and keep a sense of self as an individual
• Can be therapeutic and relaxing.
• Can be a get away for you when you need a break, your go to !
• A form of self care

Staying strict on Bedtime!

Before we had 3 kids, and it was just our oldest, we didn’t have a set bedtime for him. He went to sleep whenever we went to sleep.

It wasn’t until after I had my second born that we started to see the benefits of giving our kids a bedtime. We were in much more need of a scheduled downtime!

A this time I was transitioning to a stay at home mom and then when I had my daughter I was fully staying at home. If weren’t on schedule for the whole day, one schedule we didn’t play about was that bed time!

Don’t get me wrong, I love being with my babies. Actually around this time, it was my choice to stay at home and be more involved with my kids. But leaving a full time job to being a full time stay at home mom is really swopping a 40 hour job to a 24/7 hour job!

Being with your kids all day and keeping the house together is literally a job and staying strict on when they go to bed allows time to clock out for a little bit.

Setting bedtimes for our kids create boundaries for ourselves.

Creating a consistent bedtime for your kids can:

• Give you time at the end of the day to wind down, recharge and prepare for the next day on all levels mentally, physically and emotionally
• Sets boundaries for yourself within your day, which helps with preventing feeling overwhelmed
• Allows your kids to establish a consistent sleep schedule that you can plan around
• Overall allows more time for yourself to do the things you want to do (hobby, watching tv, reading, exercising etc)

 Finding community/ asking for help when you need it

Finding community

It takes village to raise a child. I am understanding that saying more and more each day as I travel down this motherhood journey.

Having people around, a community that we can lean on. People around us who we can open up to and call on is such a necessary component to motherhood. The support of having other moms that you can meet up with and have play dates with can be so nurturing on this path. We can learn so much from one mom to the next.
After having my daughter, we were in a new state. I had no friends and was trying to adjust to what staying at home with the kids would look like.

We began going to our local library down the street and I was able to meet other moms in the area. We would meet for a children’s group at the library every week! This was something me and the kids began to look forward too!

This created a sense of community for us. We began to make friends and I was able to relate with other moms and not feel alone as a stay at home mom. I even met a few mom who were homeschooling like me!

I love the libraries, such a great resource! Whenever me and my family move from different states, the first thing we check out every time is the closes local library!

And … asking for help when you need it

I made a post the other day that said ” Just because she can do it all, doesn’t mean she should.”

I’ve realized that motherhood breeds a kind of resilience in us as mothers to where we literally can take on so much and make it look easy, but the reality is it’s a lot alone.

If you have help, utilize it. If you can deligate or make something work out more convenient for you, work towards that route.

Yes we can do it all, because moms are freaking skilled at everything we do but always check in with yourself and make sure your not over exerting yourself.

Getting a head start on your day by waking up before the kids!

That’s actually how I am able to write this blog post right now!

Waking up before you kids can really make all the difference in your day. Going to sleep at a decent time and waking up an hour or two before the kids to focus. Prepare yourself mentally, physically and spiritually for the day in your own presence, peace, and quiet.

There are so many times that I have waken up with my kids or even after them and im quickly rushed into the day, off cooking breakfast, running a load of laundry to the laundry room, changing a diaper, cleaning a spill and before you know it the day has started without me getting a chance to check in with my self first.

Ive noticed that when this happens, I feel like I lost direction for the day and that the day is just slowly but surely being swept away from me!

Have you ever felt like this?

The morning time is when our brains are fresh, our energy is rejuvenated, and our thoughts are clearer, and we deserve to tap into that space to center us for the day. 

Read more about creating an intentional morning routine here.

Dressing up, changing things up a little. 

Its the little things that can make all the difference in your day!

I remember when I first had my daughter, and I had so much going on, I barely put any effort in to the way I looke. Trying to find clothes that fit my new body after childbirth. Things shift after having a baby, you may lose weight, gain weight and in my case, I had lost weight.

Also during this time, we were a one income house hold. I stayed at home while my partner worked long hours. Between making ends meet and having a newborn, clothes just wasn’t priority.

A little after I had gave birth, my mom sent me a box full of clothes, unexpectedly. ( She probably heard me mention on one of our phone calls how I dont have clothes, mom things)

When I receive this box of clothes, I felt a boost of confidence. They were just some jeans, couple shirts that my mom found while she was out thrifting, but to me there were new!

I began putting earrings on and really just putting an effort to my looks everyday! It made such a difference on my mental space and confidence.

Now I’m not saying every morning, because the reality of that is some days it just doesn’t happen and there isn’t nothing wrong with that either.

But next time you may be feeling down, out of it or just looking for some kind of change in your day. Change something up a little, maybe wear that shirt you haven’t put on in a while, do your hair different, add some earrings do your hair, its such a simple way to nurture yourself.

Space to cleanse and process

This kind of goes in the same category as finding space for yourself. There is so much going on for us on a daily basis, caring for our kids, making phone calls, cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc all while we are learning and growing through each and every experience.
Sometimes we don’t have the time to process just stop, and allow ourselves to process and check in with ourselves all right then and there.

Creating a space that puts you at ease and allows you to release any bottled-up energy can be so helpful for us as mommas.

We are always evolving and with that comes emotions, feelings, thoughts that need to be released and our mind, body and soul needs to be cleansed. Some lessons and realizations aren’t able to fully be seen until we are out of the situation in a space where we can reflect in.

Find something that connects you to yourself on a Deeper level and utilize it as your tool to stay connected with yourself. Sometimes we need a clear perspective or need to be taken out of our environment and separated from our lives just for a little to regain who we are and realign.

Somethings that I turn too when I need time to realign and process long weeks are:

• Routine baths– Baths can be so relaxing and rejuvenating! Having a nice, warm bath with anything you would like to add to that picture, music, essential oils in the air or in your water, bath bombs, music, reading etc.
• Practicing Yoga– Yoga is a good way to connect with all aspects of yourself. Using movement and breath to help cleanse and move energy throughout your body. Allowing your mind to being a meditative state. Releasing any emotions that come up and a letting it all go on your mat. I have a post all about the benefits of yoga here.
• Taking a drive – Sometimes getting away, taking a drive can be just the thing you need to process and think alone.
• Nature or taking a walk– Nature is just calming to be in, surrounded in rather if that’s a hike, a trail by a lake, a park etc.
• Store Runs– Okay so not like your average grocery shopping, unless you find that fun. But go find a store that your enjoy to go cruise the aisles and browse. My favorites are hobby lobby, Micheals, Target, Ross.

Mindfulness

This one is something that I try to work on constantly and practice with my kids. Trying to be mindful of my emotions and actions when interacting with my kids and considering their feelings and how to best go about things. I feel like being mindful when it comes to dealing with situations creates a healthy perspective to build from.

I have heard before multiple times that kids are nothing but reflections of ourselves and the things that are not healed within ourselves and truly do believe this.

A lot of the things that my kids do, if I look deep enough and if I’m honest with myself, I realized that its usually is me.

I have to ask myself;

why did this bother me so much?
Why did I react the way I did?

It’s a learning experience. And takes work to change the way we have been taught and brought up when it comes to parenting our children. At the end of the day, our kids give us a chance to learn with them if we allow that kind of relationship. As you learn your kids better and you learn yourself better, it creates better relationships, better experiences, and growth. 

So those are the 10 things that I came up with and below is the full podcast if you would like to listen.

While I know there is no book, guide or right way to mother and our journeys are all unique.

I do believe that there is power and value in sharing our stories and experiences with one another. Becoming a mother, working and then switching to staying at home, was quit the adjustment for me.

I felt like there wasn’t much advise for me so here I am, sharing what I have learned during this experience. Anyways, until next time momma! Stay tune, in tune and forever evolving.

Stephanie